LINDON COLLARD TOTAL RECALL
Saturday, October 12, 2024
Monday, September 16, 2024
EVERY TIME I SUFFERED A LOSS OF WORK, POTENTIAL OR MONEY MY BOTTOM LINE WAS DIMINISHED AND THAT NEVER GOES AWAY.
I WOULD BE ADMONISHED, "THAT WAS THIRTY YEARS AGO" BUT THE LOWERING OF MY BOTTOM LINE TO ZERO DOLLARS REMAINS THERE, IT IS ALWAYS A LOWER STARTING POINT.
WORSE, IS THE LOSS OF OPPORTUNITY. SIXTY YEARS AGO, WHEN I WAS EIGHTEEN I HAD A TEN TO FOURTEEN THOUSAND DOLLAR TRUST FROM MY PATERNAL GRANDFATHER. I WAS GOING TO PURCHASE AN ELEVEN ROOM HOTEL WITH A CAFETERIA/DANCE HALL AND A LOUNGE. I WOULD HAVE STARTED IN BUSINESS FROM THAT LUCRATIVE ENTERPRISE. I CERTAINLY WOULD NOT HAVE SUFFERED THE LIFELONG LACK OF DISPOSABLE INCOME I EXPERIENCED.
I HAD OVER A MILLION DOLLARS I WAS BEQUEATHED STOLEN FROM ME THIRTY AND FORTY YEARS AGO, I STILL THINK ABOUT THOSE LOSSES. THE DESTRUCTION OF THE EXPERIENCE THAT NOT HAVING MONEY TO INVEST IN PROJECTS CAUSED IS ANGUISHING.
THE INTERFERENCE IN MY LIFE WHICH MY EX-WIFE CREATED DESTROYED MY MUSIC PROJECT TO OBTAIN TOP LEVEL EMPLOYMENT AS A MUSICIAN. I WORKED FOR TWENTY FIVE YEARS AND I WAS BECOMING KNOWN AS A MUSICIAN. MY EX-WIFE, GONE FOR YEARS, EMPLOYED LAWYERS AND POLICE TO MAKE SURE I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO LEAVE HOME.
THERE WAS A CONCERTED EFFORT TO DISPOSSESS ME OF MY HOME BY SEIZING IT UNDER COLOR OF LAW.
NO ONE WOULD EVER HOUSE SIT FOR ME AFTER THE POLICE STARTED COMING IN NINETEEN NINETY TWO. I WOULD WORRY WHEN I LEFT THE HOUSE THAT ANOTHER SEIZURE WOULD BE ATTEMPTED, NOBODY WOULD BE HERE AND I WOULD NOT GET BACK INTO MY HOUSE AGAIN.
Tuesday, September 10, 2024
IN THE 1970'S I SPENT YEARS WHERE I MOSTLY HAD TO HANG AROUND NOT MOVING WHICH IS "VIRTUAL PARALYSIS".
I HAVE TO LAY IMMOBILE FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME TO RECOVER FROM THE VIRTUAL PARALYSIS I EXPERIENCE.
I REALIZED LATELY THAT I AM BEHIND ON MY NECESSARY CHORES AND I WILL TEND TO GET UP TOO SOON AS I GET OVER SHORT OR LONG TERM PARALYSIS WHICH PREVENTS RECOVERY FROM LASTING VERY LONG OR HAPPENING.
Monday, April 8, 2019
COLLAPSE AND TONIC IMMOBILITY DEVELOPMENT
HOW DOES A SUSCEPTIBILITY DEVELOP TO SUFFER COLLAPSE IMMOBILITY AND TONIC IMMOBILITY?disablednotcompensated.blogspot.com
Saturday, September 7, 2024
Sunday, July 7, 2024
IT WAS TERRIFYING TO BE DENIED BY GROUPS OF PERSONS WHO KEPT ME FROM KNOWING WHAT WAS GOING ON SO I COULD NOT SAVE MYSELF, MY PROPERTY OR MY PROSPECTS.
I HAVE EXPERIENCED SO MANY DENIALS OF BENEFITS, INHERITANCES AND SERVICES THAT I HAVE BEEN PERSONALLY IMPOVERISHED AND STUCK AT HOME FOR YEARS AT A TIME.
THE MOST TERRIBLE FEARFUL ASPECT OF MY DISENFRANCHISEMENT IS CAUSED BY THE DEPLOYING OF POLICE AGAINST ME AND THE ALIENATION FROM LAWYERS AND POLITICIANS CAUSED BY MY BEING RUTHLESSLY DEFAMED.
I HAVE NEVER HURT ANYONE NOR DESTROYED PROPERTY NOR EVEN TRESPASSED UPON ANYONE'S PROPERTY.
I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ATTACKED OVER MY PROPERTY WHILE I WAS ON MY OWN PROPERTY OR HAD UNWARRANTED RAIDS ON ME WHILE I WAS ON MY OWN PROPERTY. I HAVE NEVER GONE TO NOR SENT POLICE TO ANYONE'S PROPERTY.
Thursday, June 13, 2024
I HAVE DISCOVERED THAT IT IS LIKELY THAT I HAVE HAD A NUMBER OF ADDITIONAL MISHAPS CAUSED BY A NEUROLOGICAL DISEASE WHERE I THOUGHT I SLIPPED OR I WAS HAVING REVERSE ARCH BACK OR NECK SPASM.
I SAW A TELEVISION INTERVIEW WHERE THE SYMPTOMS REPORTED WERE SIMILAR TO MY SYMPTOMS. IT WAS REPORTED THAT STRESSFUL SITUATIONS WOULD CAUSE CONSTRICTION, SPASMS, WEAKNESS OR COLLAPSE.
IT IS IT POSSIBLE MY DISABILITY WAS STARTED BY MY MOTHER BEATING ME AND THROWING ME DOWN. THOSE ASSAULTS MAY HAVE JUST BEEN TRIGGERS OF MY NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER BUT I THINK MY DISORDER MAY HAVE BEEN CAUSED BY INJURY WHEN I WAS HIT ON MY HEAD WITH BROOMS AND STEEL EDGED YARDSTICKS (AND ON MY ARMS AND COLLAR BONES AND I WAS ALSO WHACKED ON MY SHOULDER BY MY FATHER WHEN HE WAS ORDERED TO HIT ME BY MY MOTHER). MOTHER ALSO WRENCHED ME OVER BACKWARDS AND DOWN BY TWISTING MY NECK TO THE RIGHT AND THEN LEFT AND COLLAPSE WAS THE ONLY ALLEVIATING RESPONSE WHICH WAS AVAILABLE TO ME. I WAS JUMPED ON BY MOTHER, WHERE COLLAPSE WAS THE ONLY POSSIBLE OUTCOME, AND I HAD BETTER BE DOWN OR MY INJURY WOULD BE WORSE
THIS KIND OF BAD BEHAVIOR AND THE KNOWLEDGE THAT PEOPLE WERE SUBORNING THIS BEHAVIOR REALLY SCREWS ME UP.
I HAVE DOCUMENTED MANY OF THE BAD EXPERIENCES I HAD IN MY DIARY, BUT IT WAS REPORTED THAT A FAILURE TO RECALL WHAT HAD HAPPENED IS ONE OF THE POST ATTACK SYMPTOMS. OFTEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING IN A SEVERE REVERSE ARCH SPASM. NIGHT EPILEPSY? I HAVE HAD EPISODES OF SUCH SEVERE CHEST CONSTRICTION THAT I COULD NOT BREATHE, I HAVE THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE BEFORE I GOT AIR GOING.
I HAVE HAD THE SYMPTOMS OF WHATEVER I HAD UNDER CONTROL UNTIL I WAS PUT IN A SITUATION WHERE I DID NOT HAVE CONTROL THEN THE SYMPTOMS WOULD BE SEVERE AND DEVASTATING.
I MANAGED TO EVEN PERFORM LIVE ON HARMONICA AND TO DANCE ON STAGE AND TO BICYCLE AND ROLLERBLADE. ALL OF THESE PLEASURABLE AND HEALTHY AND POSSIBLY LUCRATIVE ACTIVITIES WOULD BECOME IMPOSSIBLE, USUALLY DUE TO BACK SPASM AND MY CHEST LOCKING UP. I COULD ALSO COLLAPSE OR CONVULSE, WHICH IS CONSISTENT WITH THE REPORTED SYMPTOMS OF OTHER PEOPLE.
PEOPLE WHO KNEW ME AND COULD SEE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WERE VERY CRUEL, DELIBERATELY CAUSING STRESS TO FORCE ME TO DO THINGS I DID NOT WANT TO DO. OTHER PEOPLE WHO WERE AWARE OF MY SITUATION BLAMED ME AND ISOLATED ME AND ABANDONED ME.
THOSE BEHAVIORS MADE MY SYMPTOMS GET WORSE AND CREATED DESPAIR.
Friday, May 31, 2024
I BECAME DISABLED AGAIN IN NINETEEN EIGHTY SIX WHILE I WAS MARRIED AND JUST AFTER I HAD WORKED AT MY EX-WIFE'S "MAJOR BUSINESS THAT (SHE USED "I") WAS THE OPERATOR OF" SIX DAYS A WEEK FOR NO PAY.
A CAR TURNING LEFT STRUCK MY CAR GOING STRAIGHT THROUGH AN INTER-SECTION AND PROPELLED MY CAR INTO A STEEL TELEPHONE POLE LIKE THIS.
This is a car similar to my restored 1970 Oldsmobile F85 that hit a wooden pole.
I HAVE RESEARCHED THE SYMPTOMS I EXPERIENCED AFTER MY NINETEEN EIGHTY SIX CAR CRASH AND I HAVE NOT FOUND A COMPREHENSIVE DIAGNOSIS.
I HAD TO SLEEP EVERY FOUR HOURS FOR ABOUT FORTY MINUTES TO REMAIN ACTIVE. I COULD STAY UP LONGER IF I WAS JUST SITTING THERE NOT MOVING.
IN ADDITION I HAD DIFFICULTY WALKING OR STANDING UNSUPPORTED WITHOUT LEANING ON FURNITURE OR A FENCE OR HOLDING ON TO A RAILING.
I HAD ANOTHER PROBLEM I WAS NOT AWARE OF AS LOSS OF IDENTITY AND A LOSS OF ABILITY TO KNOW WHO WAS WHOM IN MY ANECDOTAL MEMORY PREVENTED ME FROM DISCERNING MY LOSS OF MEMORY. I REMEMBER THE DARK WET STREET IN VANCOUVER WHERE MY CAR WAS PROPELLED INTO A STEEL TELEPHONE POLE IN 1986, AND THEN REALLY NOT MUCH ELSE UNTIL THE 3RD OF JANUARY 1990. AMNESIA CAUSED BY HEAD INJURY AND ALSO MY EXHAUSTED AND HUMILIATED STATE THAT WAS CAUSED BY BEING UNPAID FOR OVER THREE YEARS WORK AND THEN FORCED TO PAY BACK MONEY MY MOTHER SUPPLIED TO MY WIFE TO START HER BUSINESS WHICH WAS STOLEN FROM MY TRUST FUND FROM MY PATERNAL GRANDFATHER IN 1964 TO START WITH.
THEN IT WAS DECLARED THAT THE PAYBACK WOULD BE DIS-ACKNOWLEDGED AND IT WOULD BE KEPT AS INTEREST PAYMENTS AND I WOULD HAVE MONEY I INHERITED FROM MY UNCLE KEPT TO PAY NON-EXISTENT DEBT AND EXTREMELY HIGH INTEREST.
IT JUST OCCURRED TO ME WOULD IT NOT BE MY WIFE'S RESPONSIBILITY TO TRY TO HELP ME RATHER THAN IMPLEMENT THE EXTORTION AND EXPLOITATION TO WHICH I WAS SUBJECTED.
MY WIFE WAS MENTALLY ILL. I DID NOT TRY TO GET RID OF HER OR SEND HER TO AN INSTITUTION. I PUT UP WITH IT AND I ALSO RESCUED PROPERTY AND FINANCES WHICH SHE HAD DAMAGED WITH HER EXCESS AND HER OBSESSIVE CONTROLLING COUNTERFACTUALISM.
Monday, May 27, 2024
THE RESENTFUL REDNECKS AT OTTER POINT STOLE AND DESTROYED EVERYTHING I WAS AND HAD. THEN WOMEN IN MY FAMILY AND WOMEN IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD NEAR MY ROCKCLIFFE APARTMENTS IN VICTORIA WAGED AN ECONOMIC WAR AND A WAR OF DEFAMATION AND FAKE 911 CALLS AGAINST ME. I LOST THE WAR BADLY.
NOW THAT YOU WHO ATTACKED ME HAVE WON AND I HAVE BEEN FINANCIALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY CRUSHED: WHAT'S UP?
THE FACT THAT I OWNED MY OWN HOME, WHICH I PURCHASED ON MY OWN, MADE MY OBJECTIONS TO LOSSES I HAD BEEN FORCED TO ENDURE WITHOUT A PROPER REMEDY SEEM TO BE NEUROTIC AND GREEDY WHEN I HAD SO MUCH, I STILL HAD MY HOUSE. EXCEPT THAT BY 2000, MY EX-WIFE AND MY MOTHER'S EXPLOITATION OF ME AND THEFT FROM ME LEFT ME WITH NO CASH AND MORE THAN $230,000 TAKEN FROM MY INHERITED MONEY.
WHEN I PURCHASED THE FIRST HOUSE ON THIS PROPERTY, BY SELLING MY JEWELRY MANUFACTURING BUSINESS, TO PAY HALF DOWN FOR THE UNFINISHED HOUSE AND THE LAND, I HAD FIGURED OUT HOW TO DO IT MOSTLY USING MYSELF AS LABOR AND SOME FAMILY DERIVED MONEY TO FINISH IT. THEN I WAS GOING TO SELL MY INVENTORY OF FINISHED JEWELRY TO PAY OFF THE THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLAR MORTGAGE IN THE TAXATION YEAR AFTER THE ONE WHERE I SOLD MY BUSINESS. I ALSO HAD MY TERRIBLE CAR SALESMAN'S JOB SO I THOUGHT I COULD RENEW MY MORTGAGE.
WHAT I DID NOT REALIZE WAS THAT INTEREST RATES HAD GONE WAY UP. I DID NOT KNOW IT THEN, BUT IT WAS IMPERATIVE THAT I PAY OFF THE MORTGAGE AND THEN GET A BETTER JOB.
WHEN THE REDNECKS PILLAGED AND BURNT MY GOODS AND MY HOME I WOULD HAVE TO SPEND EVERYTHING I GOT FROM THE INSURANCE PLUS QUITE A LOT OF ADDITIONAL MONEY TO BUILD ANOTHER HOUSE. I LOST ALL OF MY POSSESSIONS AND THERE WAS NO MONEY TO BUY MORE.
I HAD SUCCEEDED IN PRODUCING A NO MORTGAGE HOME BUT I HAD NO POSSESSIONS AND I HAD USED UP ANY POSSIBLE STARTING A BUSINESS MONEY MY AUNT OR MY UNCLE WOULD HAVE PROVIDED. THERE WAS A LOT OF WORK TO DO AT THE NEW HOUSE AND ON THE GROUNDS AROUND IT. I WOULD HAVE TO QUIT DRIVING SIX DAYS A WEEK TO VICTORIA. I HAD NO IDEA WHEN I TOOK THE CAR SALES JOB THAT I WOULD WORK TIL 9:30 PM UP TO THREE NIGHTS PER WEEK AND WITH ONE SATURDAY PER MONTH OFF. I HAD TO QUIT.
AS I WORKED AWAY, WITHOUT PAY, HERE AT OTTER POINT I BEGAN TO HAVE THE RUNS AND EVEN TO VOMIT.
THEN MY EX-WIFE DEMANDED HER "MAJOR BUSINESS SHE OPERATED" AND I ENDED UP IN DEBT AND BACK TO SIX LONG DAYS AND DRIVING TO VICTORIA.
I BECAME TOTALLY FATIGUED AND I WORKED LIKE AN AUTOMATON. I WAS THE DEBTOR TO MY FAMILY AND THE UNPAID SLAVE OF MY WIFE AMD WITHOUT REALIZING IT HAPPENED I BECAME FINANCIALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY CRUSHED.
THEN THERE WAS THE DECEMBER 21 1986 CAR CRASH AND I WAS EVEN MORE CRUSHED, INTO A STATE OF FUGUE.
IN RETROSPECT, RETROSPECTING, I FEEL DEFEATED IN THE PURSUIT OF MY PROJECTS AND AIMS. I FEEL MORE CRUSHED THAN I EVER FELT. I HAVE PROPERTY: MY HOME WAS CONSTANTLY RAIDED, I FEEL CRUSHED, I DO NOT FEEL RELAXED. I INHERITED ENOUGH MONEY AT AGE 55, IN 2001 TO BUY THE ROCKCLIFFE APARTMENTS IN VICTORIA BUT THAT WAS MADE TO BE NO MORE THAN AN INVESTMENT. MY APARTMENT BUILDING WAS A SCENE WHERE THE ALF TOONE COOP WON IN 2001 FAKE 911, AND POLICE AND BY-LAW COOPERATING WITH THEM AND I HAVE BEEN DEFEATED AND CRUSHED EVER SINCE.
Wednesday, April 10, 2024
Saturday, March 2, 2024
Wednesday, February 14, 2024
THREE GIGANTIC LOSSES: I WAS A PASSIVE AND ENFEEBLED VICTIM AND I COULD NOT OBTAIN ANY REMEDY
MY PERMANENT RENTAL: I WAS REPLACED BY A FRIEND OF SOMEONE AT THE BCDC AT THE BURR HOUSE IN 1979.
I LOST MY JOB AT THE CANADIAN NATIONAL RAILROAD AND I WAS DENIED MY DISABILITY PENSION. I WAS DEFRAUDED IN 1970.
Postscript: THE LOSSES ARE CUMULATIVE AND PERMANENT. WHATEVER ONE LOST OR DID NOT RECEIVE REMAINS FOREVER MISSING FROM ONE'S TOTAL WEALTH.
THERE IS A LACK OF ABILITY TO INVEST MONEY IN A COMMERCIAL ENTERPRISE OR TO CONTINUE TO PURSUE LONG TERM GOALS, CAUSED BY THE LOSSES.
Tuesday, February 13, 2024
Tuesday, January 30, 2024
Virtually paralyzed and ignored.
After a month of really bad paralysis I made it in to Sooke. I think December 14 2023 was the last day before this latest until today, bout of paralysis that I could do anything.
I HAVE REPEATEDLY TOLD MY MEDICAL PRACTICIONERS AND MANY OTHER PERSONS THAT IF I UNDERTAKE AN ACTIVITY ON DAY ONE, I AM NOT FIT TO ACCOMPLISH ANOTHER ACTIVITY UNTIL DAY FOUR.
A page on how I feel December 15 2023: This is today's entry among the 100 or "Apage on how I feel" so titled and dated in my 'Document files'.
After many days of Virtual Paralysis I was active yesterday for an hour or so. I attached a string of lights to the C-can. I had to stand on the ladder, place and secure the light string and affix 3 ties.
Today I at first could not straighten my back from "reverse arch spasm" sufficiently to be able to get out of bed, I had to lay there not moving. Now when I do stand to do bathroom or kitchen activity I have to lean on something or if I close my eyes I have more standing up strength. Sitting held in place by wedging legs and arms allows more and longer useful time , to write or eat or drink. I usually last only two minutes up on my feet and not just today, This happens a lot during a period of post collapse recovery.
I googled "paralysis, and I was offered among other things:
Why do I feel paralyzed?
Paralysis is one of the ways our body responds to stress, and there's ways to manage it. Living with anxiety engages your autonomic nervous system (ANS), also known as the fight, flight, or freeze response. The “freeze” response can feel like paralysis — physical, emotional, or cognitive.Apr 25, 2022.
I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE THE POLICE COULD BE HERE.
THEY MADE A POINT OF TELLING ME THAT THEY COULD COME HERE ANYTIME, 24/7.
My energy is sapped by stress and anxiety according to the Googled quote. I feel I have to be alert for an imminent raid at any time. There is also a debilitating factor caused by the anguish I feel at having my homestead despoiled physically and at the loss of the quiet enjoyment of my property.
POSTSCRIPT:
PERHAPS WHAT I CALL "VIRTUAL PARALYSIS IS PARESIS? THIS CAME UP ON A GOOGLE PAGE.
Paralysis vs Paresis: Key Differences
Paralysis and paresis have distinct characteristics that help differentiate between the two. The main difference between paralysis and paresis are as follows:
- Degree of Loss: The main difference between paresis and paralysis is the degree of muscle function loss. Paralysis is characterized by complete or severe muscle weakness in the affected area. In contrast, paresis is characterized by partial weakness or reduced muscle strength in the affected body areas.
Another key difference between paralysis and paresis is that paralysis can cause loss of sensation and reflexes in the affected area, while paresis only affects muscle strength and control. Paresis may also cause muscle twitching or cramping, whereas paralysis does not. - Symptom Severity: The symptoms of paresis are typically less severe than those of paralysis. Individuals with paresis may experience weakness or difficulty moving a particular muscle or muscle group, while individuals with paralysis may not be able to move the affected muscle at all.
- Potential for Recovery: While paralysis may be permanent, paresis is often reversible with proper treatment. In paralysis, the damage to the muscle or nerves controlling the muscle may be too severe for recovery. However, in the case of paresis, with physical therapy or other interventions, individuals with paresis may be able to regain full muscle function.
AFTER MY TRIP TO SOOKE TODAY JANUARY 29 2024THIS IS HOW I WAS AFFLICTED BY PARALYSIS, UNABLE TO MOVE AND I WILL HAVE TO LAY DOWN AGAIN NOW.
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There is a problem with those who seek to diminish the experience of others. If you are not producing or conveying something of benefit to others, those whom you are affecting, what use are you and what do you think you are doing? There is no " higher purpose " which makes damaging acts acceptable.
Tonic Immobility and Tonic Collapse are the result of extremely stressful, not able to be resisted attacks, likely starting during childhood. Attacking or calling up an attacking force which makes Lindon collapse and stay that way for years is horribly bad criminal behavior which destroys life experience.