I SAW A TELEVISION INTERVIEW WHERE THE SYMPTOMS REPORTED WERE SIMILAR TO MY SYMPTOMS. IT WAS REPORTED THAT STRESSFUL SITUATIONS WOULD CAUSE CONSTRICTION, SPASMS, WEAKNESS OR COLLAPSE.
IT IS IT POSSIBLE MY DISABILITY WAS STARTED BY MY MOTHER BEATING ME AND THROWING ME DOWN. THOSE ASSAULTS MAY HAVE JUST BEEN TRIGGERS OF MY NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER BUT I THINK MY DISORDER MAY HAVE BEEN CAUSED BY INJURY WHEN I WAS HIT ON MY HEAD WITH BROOMS AND STEEL EDGED YARDSTICKS (AND ON MY ARMS AND COLLAR BONES AND I WAS ALSO WHACKED ON MY SHOULDER BY MY FATHER WHEN HE WAS ORDERED TO HIT ME BY MY MOTHER). MOTHER ALSO WRENCHED ME OVER BACKWARDS AND DOWN BY TWISTING MY NECK TO THE RIGHT AND THEN LEFT AND COLLAPSE WAS THE ONLY ALLEVIATING RESPONSE WHICH WAS AVAILABLE TO ME. I WAS JUMPED ON BY MOTHER, WHERE COLLAPSE WAS THE ONLY POSSIBLE OUTCOME, AND I HAD BETTER BE DOWN OR MY INJURY WOULD BE WORSE
THIS KIND OF BAD BEHAVIOR AND THE KNOWLEDGE THAT PEOPLE WERE SUBORNING THIS BEHAVIOR REALLY SCREWS ME UP.
I HAVE DOCUMENTED MANY OF THE BAD EXPERIENCES I HAD IN MY DIARY, BUT IT WAS REPORTED THAT A FAILURE TO RECALL WHAT HAD HAPPENED IS ONE OF THE POST ATTACK SYMPTOMS. OFTEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING IN A SEVERE REVERSE ARCH SPASM. NIGHT EPILEPSY? I HAVE HAD EPISODES OF SUCH SEVERE CHEST CONSTRICTION THAT I COULD NOT BREATHE, I HAVE THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE BEFORE I GOT AIR GOING.
I HAVE HAD THE SYMPTOMS OF WHATEVER I HAD UNDER CONTROL UNTIL I WAS PUT IN A SITUATION WHERE I DID NOT HAVE CONTROL THEN THE SYMPTOMS WOULD BE SEVERE AND DEVASTATING.
I MANAGED TO EVEN PERFORM LIVE ON HARMONICA AND TO DANCE ON STAGE AND TO BICYCLE AND ROLLERBLADE. ALL OF THESE PLEASURABLE AND HEALTHY AND POSSIBLY LUCRATIVE ACTIVITIES WOULD BECOME IMPOSSIBLE, USUALLY DUE TO BACK SPASM AND MY CHEST LOCKING UP. I COULD ALSO COLLAPSE OR CONVULSE, WHICH IS CONSISTENT WITH THE REPORTED SYMPTOMS OF OTHER PEOPLE.
PEOPLE WHO KNEW ME AND COULD SEE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WERE VERY CRUEL, DELIBERATELY CAUSING STRESS TO FORCE ME TO DO THINGS I DID NOT WANT TO DO. OTHER PEOPLE WHO WERE AWARE OF MY SITUATION BLAMED ME AND ISOLATED ME AND ABANDONED ME.
THOSE BEHAVIORS MADE MY SYMPTOMS GET WORSE AND CREATED DESPAIR.
