ORDINARY LIFE WHEN I LOOK BACK AT IT, WAS JUST A WASTE OF TIME.

I LAY THERE THINKING: "WAS I BRAIN-DEAD OR STUNNED"? WHEN I REMEMBER THE TIME I SPENT NOT DOING WRITING, ART, AND MUSIC. I WENT TO WORK, I RODE MY MOTORCYCLE, I HAD A GIRLFRIEND, I SAT AROUND WITH GROUPS OF PEOPLE, WHO WERE SMOKING AND DRINKING AND WE WERE TALKING AND LAUGHING, BUT IT ALL SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN POINTLESS.

FAMILY LIFE RANGED FROM HORRIFIC BETRAYAL TO CLOYING TIME WASTING.

THERE WERE MOMENTS OF JOY RIDING MY MOTORCYCLES AND LAUGHING AT THE ROUND TABLE BEFORE IT HOSTED MORE SERIOUS DISCUSSION WHICH I ENJOYED EVEN MORE AND WHICH DID WORK TO FURTHER DEVELOP AND INSPIRE ART, WRITING AND MUSIC.

WHEN I LOOK BACK AT DOING PAPER MACHE' OR LOST WAX CASTING OR MUSIC COMPOSITION AND PRACTICE, I THINK OF THAT TIME AS TIME WELL SPENT IN THE PURSUIT OF A CAREER AS AN ARTIST EVEN THOUGH, SADLY, THAT DID NOT GET TO HAPPEN.

I THINK THAT SEVERE INJURY AND THE VIRTUAL PARALYSIS WHICH FOLLOWED WAS EXACERBATED BY THE CONTINUAL BETRAYAL BY OUR SOCIETY'S INSTITUTIONS THROUGH THE DENIAL OF NECESSARY SUPPORT  FOR MYSELF WHICH I HAVE ALWAYS PAID FOR WITH PREMIUMS AND TAXES.

I AROSE SLOWLY, BIT BY BIT, FROM TONIC IMMOBILITY OR SHELL SHOCK  OR A PERIOD OF WORSENED " STIFF PERSON SYNDROME" AND I WAS PROBABLY HAPPY WITH BEING UP AND AROUND AND MAKING A LIVING AGAIN.

WHEN I NO LONGER HAD TO WORK TO MAKE A LIVING, FROM 2001, TO 2016, WHEN I WAS BADLY CRIPPLED AGAIN, I DID THE MOST VALUABLE AND IMPORTANT WRITING, ART, COMPOSITION, MUSICAL PERFORMANCE, PAPER MACHE' AND ITS ANIMATION AND VIDEOS FOR YOUTUBE.

THERE HAD BEEN PREVIOUS TO THIS A FEW PERIODS OF TIME WHERE I DID A LOT OF ART OR MUSIC COMPOSITION, LYRIC WRITING AND RECORDING THAT.

THERE HAD BEEN A FEW YEARS HERE AND THERE WHERE I WORKED ON MY LIVE PERFORMANCE ON HARMONICA.

ALL OF THE AFOREMENTIONED SKILLS HAD TO BE COMBINED TO SUCCEED AT WHAT I SOUGHT TO ACCOMPLISH.